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About

Malcolm Dale & Klaude Thomas, GURPS Goblins

In Goblins, shooting is resolved as a Quick Contest of Skills between the shooter's Guns skill and the target's Theology skill. This means that the Pope will be able to sleep at night, and it goes a long way towards explaining why the Mafia are all Catholics.

GURPS Goblins™ is a supplement from Steve Jackson Games®, telling about London around 1830, the London described so entertainingly in Dickens' Oliver Twist and other works, but a London played on fast forward with the volume turned to earthquake.

This RPG is different from most others since the players don't start out as adventurers, they don't go out exploring mysterious never before seen temples of never heard of civilisations, they don't go wandering down dungeons noone has come back out of and they don't meet in seedy bars.

Instead they start out on the first day of the financial year, their apprenticeship having ended on March 31, without gainful employment, their only possessions being:

A shiny new sixpence;
8p worth of clothing;
Rent paid for the next month, in salubrious social-status -3 accomodations;
Half a small pork pie, left over from last night, and
A consuming thirst.

Ok, so I lied about the bars; for the rest, being in a capital city where every grain of dust have been swept up, breathed in, spat out and stepped on by any one of the one and a half million inhabitants somewhat reduces the mystique while making for gritty and somewhat realistic roleplaying.

It's only somewhat realistic, since this London isn't inhabited by humans, but instead by Goblins, a resilient though malleable race of humanoids, whose main characteristic is that their different looks have nothing to do with genetics and everything to do with upbringing. At birth all goblins are sexless and indistinguishable, with no resemblence to either parent, actually with no contribution from Daddy at all except for him getting Mummy excited (see sidebar), and being all the same they don't get names but are all called Prole.

Most of the differences that define a Goblin is gained through the Mistreatments endured during the first six years of the young Proles life, after which they enter school for the final bit of polish and Misfortunes before getting their Apprenticeship which can add a couple of Occupational Deformities.
Once this part of their life is over it's time to select a Gender and a Name, conforming physically to the chosen gender, and going to a party.

The rest of the game is about gaining Status, money enough to keep yourself in food and drink, preferably Gin, getting ahead of the race and avoiding crippling injury and disease which would prevent you from enjoying the good life once you aquired it.

All this and the rest of London is described in a delightful language reminescent of Dickens, interspersed with quotations from various wondrous sources, some of dubious origin, some very real.
All in all, it's a good read even if you never intend to actually play GURPS Goblins.

The only thing left to mention is the artwork of Guy Burwell which helps set the mood, and describe the inhabitants of the world.

[Link to Amazon] Contrary to popular belief, [Proles] are not produced by a little piece of Mummy joining to a little piece of Daddy to make a little piece of Prole.
Proles are created purely from a little piece of Mummy, sparked by stimulation of certain glands and creative processes.
The stimulation usually comes from Daddy, by means which need not be discussed.
Suffice it to say, it is not possible for female goblins to contract pregnancy from a dirty toilet seat, or by cleaning their teeth in someone else's bath water.
It is possible for a female goblin to contract pregnancy by reading a particularly spicy novel.
[Meat Thief]

The texts in italics as well as the list of possessions of a starting Goblin are excerpts from the book and is copyright © 1996 by Steve Jackson Games Incorporated, used with permission.
Steve Jackson Games, GURPS and GURPS Goblins are trademarks or registered trademarks of Steve Jackson Games Incorporated.
Last Update: Sat, 28 Feb 2004