Malcolm Dale & Klaude Thomas,
GURPS Goblins
In Goblins, shooting is resolved as a Quick Contest of
Skills between the shooter's Guns skill and the target's Theology skill.
This means that the Pope will be able to sleep at night, and it goes a long
way towards explaining why the Mafia are all Catholics.
GURPS Goblins
is a supplement from Steve Jackson
Games®, telling about London around 1830, the London described so
entertainingly in Dickens'
Oliver Twist and other
works, but a London played on fast forward with the volume turned to
earthquake.
This RPG is different from most others since the players don't start out
as adventurers, they don't go out exploring mysterious never before seen
temples of never heard of civilisations, they don't go wandering down
dungeons noone has come back out of and they don't meet in seedy bars.
Instead they start out on the first day of the financial year, their
apprenticeship having ended on March 31, without gainful employment, their
only possessions being:
- A shiny new sixpence;
- 8p worth of clothing;
- Rent paid for the next month, in salubrious social-status -3
accomodations;
- Half a small pork pie, left over from last night, and
- A consuming thirst.
Ok, so I lied about the bars; for the rest, being in a capital city
where every grain of dust have been swept up, breathed in, spat out and
stepped on by any one of the one and a half million inhabitants somewhat
reduces the mystique while making for gritty and somewhat realistic
roleplaying.
It's only somewhat realistic, since this London isn't inhabited by
humans, but instead by Goblins, a resilient though
malleable race of humanoids, whose main characteristic is that their
different looks have nothing to do with genetics and everything to do with
upbringing. At birth all goblins are sexless and indistinguishable, with no
resemblence to either parent, actually with no contribution from Daddy at
all except for him getting Mummy excited (see sidebar), and
being all the same they don't get names but are all called Prole.
Most of the differences that define a Goblin is
gained through the Mistreatments
endured during the first six years of the young Proles life, after which they
enter school for the final bit of polish and Misfortunes before getting
their Apprenticeship which can add a couple of Occupational Deformities.
Once this part of their life is over it's time to select a Gender and a
Name, conforming physically to the chosen gender, and going to a party.
The rest of the game is about gaining Status, money enough to keep
yourself in food and drink, preferably Gin, getting ahead of the race and
avoiding crippling injury and disease which would prevent you from enjoying
the good life once you aquired it.
All this and the rest of London is described in a delightful language
reminescent of Dickens, interspersed with quotations from various wondrous
sources, some of dubious origin, some very real.
All in all, it's a good read even if you never intend to actually play
GURPS Goblins.
The only thing left to mention is the artwork of Guy Burwell which helps
set the mood, and describe the inhabitants of the world.
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Contrary to popular belief, [Proles] are not produced by a little piece
of Mummy joining to a little piece of Daddy to make a little piece of
Prole.
Proles are created purely from a little piece of Mummy, sparked by
stimulation of certain glands and creative processes.
The stimulation usually comes from Daddy, by means which need not be
discussed.
Suffice it to say, it is not possible for female goblins to
contract pregnancy from a dirty toilet seat, or by cleaning their teeth in
someone else's bath water.
It is possible for a female goblin to contract
pregnancy by reading a particularly spicy novel.
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